I’ve been listening to the entire New Testament on CD (The Bible Experience) and somewhat dissecting my level of faith and obedience to the Word of God. At the same time I have been listening to short videos from Francis Chan on his book, Crazy Love. I guess you are wondering at this point if I am able to read, to which of course the answer is yes. Sometimes a busy schedule can leave empty blocks of time in getting ready, or driving to destinations and I like to fill that that with teachings that edify me. Edification has brought contemplation and conversation with others, and with God.
At times I get to what I refer to as “comfort zones.” This is a familiar term used to describe many places we find ourselves happy to remain. The problem with a comfort zone is that we are failing to grow. We are not moving forward, but in fact we are “zoning out.” Things may have become so comfortable that we forget the steps it took to get to that place. In our ease we may even begin to make little mistakes we wouldn’t have made when we were striving to move forward. This can be true in hobbies, work, education, friendships, marriage, and our relationship and knowledge of God. In our activities this could, and most probably would, create a decline in excellence and performance. In our friendships and in our marriage this can lead to a disintegration of our relationships. When we sit in our comfort zone with God we may lose reverence, we may become legalistic in our remedial understanding of His word, and unfortunately begin to backslide. It doesn’t happen all at once…. but the gentle decline is a cunning lure of the enemy who approaches to steal our faith.
I had a recent conversation with another person about what it truly means to be saved, to call yourself a Christian and a believer of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Most High God. When you lay it all out like that, it sound more like a role we should take seriously. It’s easy to say, “Yes I’m a Christian.” or “Yes, I believe in God.” or “Yes, I go to church.” But when you think about what it means to truly emulate the nature of Jesus Christ, who, in Him there was no sin and by Him no sin was ever committed…. the self eval falls instantly short. When you read the account of the apostles who walked with Jesus and the letters written to the churches about the faith walk of a true believer… the self eval, even though you’ve tried very hard, looks pathetic and weak. In fact, selfishness, apathy, pride, laziness, and fear of fellow man pop out like bubbles flowing from a bubble wand. I know we walk in the dispensation of grace, but I also know that God wants to pop our bubbles!
God always sends His Holy Spirit to encourage, nudge, guide, teach and pull you forward. Perhaps that is where I find myself… being pulled forward once again. In that conversation I told this person that in my recent 6 hours of concentrated New Testament listening, I find myself falling terribly short of the mark. Her response was, “Well, if you fall short, I don’t have a chance!” This is a person I look up to and a person who has immense wisdom from a life of challenging circumstances. I don’t compare my faith with hers. Honestly I’m just trying to “do my own thing” with God. I want others to “do their thing” with God, but I don’t want to feel that it’s a competition. But it did allow me to ponder the differences and the faith defining time periods of each of our lives.
This morning after Francis Chan shared about “relationship” with God I began to think about my own. Why had my faith become unwavering? I had let go and walked on my own so many times in my youth. I have believed in God since I was a kid, but I’ve only “known” God in the last 19 years. He pursued me, then I pursued Him. It was in my hours of deepest needs (yes plural), when all hope seemed lost in circumstance after circumstance, that God held me and made Himself known to a woman who went looking for Him and fell at his feet. He allowed me to “know” him right before I would walk through hell. He made himself known through other people, through worship and His Word, and through His presence during times that I was breaking apart. He held me together as He became a real person, a real comforter, and a real healer. In this, not only did I get to know Him better, but I developed TRUST in Him. Do I know everything about the Lord Jesus? Do I know everything about God? No…. that would be impossible. But I know them enough to love and trust them.
Tears filled my eyes as I began to thank God for allowing me to know Him during those times in my life. This was an anchor for my faith. It was because I knew Him during my struggles that I was able to get to the other side of them. This was a faith that had been walked out and a faith that I could hold on to.
James 1:2-4 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I don’t feel that I am complete in my maturity or that I lack nothing, but I feel that perseverance not only has a work to finish in me, but also leads me again and again back to Jesus, who is the author and finisher of my faith.